The whole world is a busybody today.
What is being a busybody? It’s all about controlling others: you have to know at all times:
- What they’re doing.
- Why they’re doing it.
- How they’re doing it.
- And why it’s taking so long.
(A busybody in the workplace context is known as a micromanager to the world)
Why is it bad? It brings all sorts of stress, anxiety, nervousness, fear, worry and anger trying to monitor and control others, and makes the other person feel uncomfortable, bringing feelings of anxiety and stress.
The antidote:
- Trust. “Love trusts all things”.
- Taking the leash off: letting them operate freely in their domain – letting them take the lead and do their own thing in their domain.
- Patience in waiting for them to finish, which is peace for you. And letting them work slowly, which is peace for them.
- Keep focused on yourself and your own peace and joy – minding your own business.
What to do with someone untrustworthy?
- In business: fire them with gentleness and kindness. However, if they ask for another chance, trust that they’ve repented, grant them mercy and extend grace, giving them their second chance. However, if they still prove untrustworthy, that’s it – we must move on – politely, kindly, gently.
- In relationships: don’t keep company with them.
What about children? Instead of trying to control them and force them to do certain things (which will only make them rebel and be bitter toward you), rather gently and patiently with all longsuffering (don’t grow weary – in due time it will click and like the bible says: your hard work will pay off) teach them the “why’s” of the ways of God (“why” we do these things, instead of just commanding them “what” to do) right out of the womb until the concepts form within them and as the bible says: they will never go astray. And also as the bible says: teach by example – not commands. So you, lead by example.
Already damaged your children or yourself? Not to worry, bad ways can be unlearned and replaced with the good ways of God fairly easily and quickly. The only requirement for anyone to change is to proactively exercise yourself in the new ways and they will form rather easily and you and your children will become transformed. As the bible says: be a “doer” of the ways of God – not a “hearer” only, quickly forgetting what was said to you.
So we mind our own business (focus on what you’re doing). Now, it’s good to be aware of your surroundings, and to be mindful of other people’s space, and to look out for opportunities to assist others, but to be a busybody in other peoples matters (needing to know what they’re doing, why they’re doing it, how they’re doing it and why it’s taking so long) is not good. “I’m aware that someone is pressure washing the house behind me, but I’m not focusing on it. I’m aware that someone is cooking something and that the oven is on, but I’m not dwelling on it. I’ve asked them if they needed help, but they don’t, so I am focusing on my own thing.”